You suck. A lot.
At this point, I feel like that could be my entire post on this subject. But if you know me, you know I can't shut up, so it won't.
So let me just tell you (chronic pain) what else I have to say.
Thank you for being there every minute of every day. If you're one thing, it's dependable. Thanks for being there when I wake up in the morning, and for feeling like a hangover that I didn't earn. On second thought, maybe it was that can of ginger ale I had last night.... or not. Thanks for getting worse when I get tired. Thanks for making me tired. It's really fun to run out of energy at 3pm and have to pretend that you're fine for the rest of the day, because nobody wants to hear about you. And even if they did, I don't like talking about you! You're depressing!
Thanks for getting worse over time and building up a tolerance to pain medications. It's really fun to have to justify to your doctor, your friends, yourSELF why you're asking for a stronger medication. It isn't embarrassing, and it doesn't make me feel like a pill-seeker. Thanks for the mood-swings that one day make me feel like "fuck yeah, it's my pain, I'll take this if I need it! I don't need to feel bad!" and the next day make me feel like "no way, I'm not taking this pill, what if I get addicted?" even though I actually hate all of the side effects of pain medication, EXCEPT for the one that makes my pain go away.
Thanks for making me feel like an old lady. When my friends and coworkers talk about the crazy things they do like go to the gym, run a race, or go out at night, I smile and nod and pretend like I do those things too. Nope, I don't go to bed at the same time as my 4 year old son! My husband thinks it's sexy that I put my jammies on at 8 pm and pass out! What could be more 34-year old like behaviour?? I tried doing some 3 km runs a few days a week, and guess who not so subtly told me that I can't do that??? YOU did! Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for turning some days at work into complete wastelands of productivity. I really love sitting and staring at a screen, wishing you'd go away so that I could focus. I sit there anyways, so nobody thinks I'm a slacker who goes home sick all the time. Because if there's one thing I've learned is more important than your health, it's what other people think of you.
And finally, thanks for getting a whole lot worse when supplemented by hormones. Because going through uterine surgery and IVF is a whole lot of fun on its own....I need you to be there too.
Come to think of it, it kinda seems like you have a little bit of FOMO. Or you would, if you ever just pissed off for a while.
