The Zone of Tolerance

Do you ever feel like some days the smallest things just set you off?  You're short-tempered, angry, just not capable of handling your life? ("Like...I just CAN'T right now!! UGH!") Or perhaps you just feel exhausted, like you don't want to leave your bed and have no energy to even listen.  You're probably outside your zone of tolerance.

Today's post is about a phenomenon that's new to me in theory and description, but I know from...well...life in general. It wasn't much of a persistent problem before my accident, but since then I've noticed big fluctuations in what I'm capable of handling at any given moment.  I described this to my therapist, and she showed me the diagram and literature that explains it.  It's called the Zone of Tolerance.  Here's the diagram:


We all have one.  The "zone"is the area within with you are operating at any given time. If your life is relatively stable (event-wise, emotionally, physically..) then your zone is probably sort of fixed in it's size.  You probably can pretty reliably predict what you're capable of handling.  If however, your world is shaken up by something (in my case, chronic pain and stress) your zone might shrink.  Some days (high pain levels, lack of sleep, emotional turmoil) your zone is so small that the smallest things can set you off.  Other days, everything is going well, you feel good - your zone is bigger and you feel like you can take on the world. These are great days!

When your zone is constantly widening and then narrowing again, it's hard to feel emotionally stable.  You can get really down on yourself for even the fluctuations - let alone the reasons why it's fluctuating.  So what's really important is this:

1. Recognize that you HAVE a zone! Understand that it's normal to feel super strong some days, and incapable of getting out of bed on other days. 
2. Scan where you are in the zone at this very moment. If you feel that you are starting to slip outside of it (however big or small it may be today), try to ground yourself.  Do some deep breathing through your nose (in for a count of 4, out for a count of 4) and touch something real in your vicinity. This will take you out of your head, and back into the present.
3. If you're nearing the upper limit of your zone, or are slipping out of it, do something CALMING.  If you're nearing or slipping below the lower limit of your zone, do something ENERGIZING.